On the station platform

When I get to the station I find I’ve just missed a train.

And it’s forty minutes to the next one.

Trains from this station to the centre of Melbourne usually come every ten minutes or so, and I’m sitting feeling nonplused, when I hear the sounds of two people arguing.

Shouting abuse at each other at the top of their voices.

Standing on the level crossing beside the station.

She’s screaming “Get away from me!” at the man and starts walking along the railway tracks to escape him.

With him following.

And he’s shouting at her and throwing stones at her and clearly gearing up to hit her

So I shout: “Leave her alone”

And he breaks off from her, jumps up onto the station platform and comes towards me and I think

“He’s going to hit me”

But keep looking at him steadily…

And he sits down beside me instead.

He’s a good looking guy, very thin, his face gaunt with suffering.

He speaks quite softly to me, and furiously at her,

“Leave me alone!” and her saying

“You leave me alone”,

“All she wants is attention”, he’s telling me,

“That walking along the tracks, just to gain attention,

And people doing what you just did, telling me to leave her alone, she loves that,

-Leave me alone you bitch, you bad actor,

Get away from me,

-And see what she’s doing, she’s going over to the other platform, she’s doing it to bait me.

-Just leave me alone”

He’s shouting at her, and she’s shouting at her,

And I gently suggest he does, he’s got his scooter, he can get away from her, and maybe let things cool down a bit,

“I’m trapped”, he says, “Baby trapped, and we can’t get away from each other”

And who’s looking after the baby, I ask him,

“Grandma” he says, and she’s across at the other side of the platform,

“Get away from me”

“I’ll end up beating her” he says and dashes across before I can stop him,

And there’s people the other side on the platform, and I think maybe they’ll stop him, but they just act as if nothing’s happening,

And she dodges him and gets away, and he’s after her, but she’s gone.

And I feel so sorry for them, trapped in this terrible circle of hell,

This terrible circle they cannot escape from,

And my sadness fills up the space left by their absence.

And all I can do is try to hold them both in a peaceful space in my mind.

Suddenly they’re back, and on my side of the tracks, she first,

And him after her,

And she’s looking utterly defeated and despairing and goes in the covered waiting area, and he goes in too,

And I can hear her crying crying crying

And I’m on high alert again

But he seems to be speaking gently

And she is crying crying

And the train is coming soon,

And I’m still on high alert

In case she breaks clear and throws herself under it.

But they come out together,

And she’s not crying any more,

Kind of numb looking,

And he stands on the front of the scooter, and she climbs on behind him,

And holds him,

And they’re gone.

Later that morning, when I’m at the church, at St. Michael’s Uniting,

And before I perform Queen Jesus I acknowledge country,

As I always do,

And the deep wounds colonialism and slavery have left on our hearts, and on the face of our Mother Earth,

And how I think it’s part of my duty as an artist to find ways to heal them,

And I don’t know how,

And I’m thinking of that suffering couple,

He’s black, and she’s Chinese,

And I’m thinking of their ancestors,

And the ancestry of this city of Melbourne,

Named after an English Lord who supported slavery and empire,

And would have seen nothing wrong in the forced displacement of the first inhabitants of this land, or the poisoning of its river, all done in the name of “progress”,

Who enthusiastically supported the selling of opium to the Chinese, to keep their country under British domination,

Who took pleasure in beating the orphan girls he took into his household,

And somehow it’s all connected to the suffering of those poor people,

And I want my work to somehow heal them as well,

And I don’t know how,

“Help me” I say to the audience, “Help me”

But they don’t know either,

We none of us know,

“All of us stumbling together,

Stumbling over our Mother Earth”,

And all I can try to do is bless us,

“Bless us when we’re happy, bless us when we’re sad,

Bless us when we’re frozen in terror.

Remind us that we’re not alone,

We never were, we never are, we never shall be.

For he is she

And she is he,

And we are they

And they are we,

And shall be,

For every

And for ever

And

For ever.”