Playing With Fire: Part 5

How frail a light.....

Photo by Marc Ignacio on Unsplash

THE BEGGAR AND THE KING BEGIN TO DANCE. THEY EXIT THROUGH DEATH'S DOOR, LAUGHING TOGETHER. THE MUSIC ENDS.

JUSTINA

Where have they gone?

DEVIL

The way everyone goes.

JUSTINA

Why did you make them go?

DEVIL

It wasn't me. They went by themselves. It's your turn next. I see you took off your robes.

JUSTINA

Kingship's just a costume. Why should I want to keep it?

DEVIL

I had a client once. I took him way up a mountain. Showed him all the kingdoms of the world. He turned them down. Did him no good. It won't help you. Are you ready?

JUSTINA

No. I don't want to be alone.

DEVIL

What about Fernando?

JUSTINA

(SADLY) I had forgotten him. Can't the dead return?

DEVIL

Sometimes.  Once my client lost his friend. He wept. And then he said: he is not dead. He is sleeping. And the mourners laughed him to scorn. But he took no notice. He went and he stood before the grave and shouted. "Lazarus. Come forth!". And Lazarus came. He had been in the grave three days. He stank. Imagine it. And the tales he had to tell are enough to freeze the blood.

JUSTINA

I loved him. I won't be afraid.

DEVIL

Then call him. Call him by his name.

JUSTINA

Fernando. Fernando!

FERNANDO RISES FROM THE DEAD. HE IS WEARING GRAVE CLOTHES.

FERNANDO

Where am I? Who are you?

JUSTINA

Justina.

FERNANDO

I knew you once. I knew this room. Didn't I live here? But why am I here? I died. What's the point of dying if you just end up at home?

Something's wrong. Something's terribly wrong.

JUSTINA

I called you back.

FERNANDO

I remember now. I was walking. I was frightened. There was something I was frightened of losing. That's all I was thinking. I didn't want to lose it, and now it's gone. There was a crowd. I could see a crowd. Everyone was shouting. There was this...thing, this broken thing in the middle of it all, and when I got closer I saw it was a body. A broken body. And I thought: some poor sod's had it, anyway. And then I got closer. And I saw it was me. I was frightened. I was so frightened.

And everyone was shouting, and I thought, why don't they stop, why don't they stop shouting and look after me. I'm dying. Will somebody stop me dying?

But no-one touched me. And it began to fade. It all began to fade.

I struggled, but I couldn't move.

I shouted, but I had no voice.

And then I saw the light. Far far away in the distance. A bright light in the middle of darkness. And I wanted to go. I wanted to go to the light. But it was so dark. And so very far away. And I was so tired. And I wanted to see you, just once, just to say goodbye. I couldn't bear to leave you, it seemed so cruel. So I turned back, and the light was gone.

And now I'm here. I should have followed the light, followed it when I had the chance. But I came here instead.

And now I know. I was married to an alchemist.

We quarrelled all the time. The energy we spent. All the trouble we took to be unhappy. The wasted time. And the garden is still there.

Still there inside our minds. It was never lost. We thought it was. But we walk there, hand in hand. And we are not ashamed.

Why didn't we know?

Why didn't we understand?

Why did we fight?

Why did we hurt each other?

And I loved you. I loved you all the time.

JUSTINA

Can't we go there? Can't we go there now?

FERNANDO

It's too late. The doors are closed. We threw away the key.

JUSTINA

Don't go.

FERNANDO

I must. It's dark, but I can smell the dawn. And I must sleep. I'm tired. Don't call me back. Let me go in peace.

EXIT FERNANDO. HE LEAVES THROUGH DEATH'S DOOR. JUSTINA WEEPS.

DEVIL

The king sat in her court. She had a soldier, a beggar, a madman and a ghost. And now they've gone and left her.

JUSTINA

All but you.

DEVIL

And I will never leave you. I will stay with you always. Even unto the end of the world.

THE DEVIL MOVES ROUND THE STAGE, PUTTING OUT ALL THE CANDLES.

JUSTINA

You belong to hell.

DEVIL

Where I live. Not where I belong.

JUSTINA

Does it hurt?

DEVIL

It does at first. When we enter it, we cry. We howl with pain and rage. Our skin's so soft, you see. So very tender. But you get used to that.

Besides, we all wear clothes.

JUSTINA

Clothes? In hell?

DEVIL

Of course. It's very civilised.

JUSTINA

But doesn't God torment you?

DEVIL

We don't need God. We all torment ourselves.

JUSTINA

Which pain is worse?

DEVIL

The lack of light.

JUSTINA

Is it always dark?

DEVIL

Of course we have the sun. We have the moon as well. And all the lesser stars. But that is not the light I mean. It is the lack of inner light that hurts. The confusion. The sense of loss.

But you get used to that.

JUSTINA

But that's what it's like here.

DEVIL

Where else do you think we are?

JUSTINA

Is there no way out?

DEVIL

Through the door.

JUSTINA

I won't go.

DEVIL

You will. You must. The seed must die. Your soul is mine.

THE DEVIL HAS PUT OUT ALL THE CANDLES BUT ONE. HE GIVES IT TO JUSTINA. HE EXITS THROUGH DEATH'S DOOR. JUSTINA STARES AT HER LIGHT A WHILE.

JUSTINA

How frail a light. How easy to put out. I could do it with my hand.

They say to some death comes so sweetly, like a friend. But not to me.

The night is always darkest in the hour before the daylight comes.

Then, they say, the sun will rise and chase away the spirits of the dark.

But, till that hour we have to grope our way through shadows and await the dawn.

JUSTINA LEAVES HER CANDLE AND WALKS TO THE DOOR THAT LEADS TO THE OUTSIDE WORLD. SHE OPENS IT. DAWN IS BREAKING. WE HEAR THE SINGING OF THE BIRDS.

THE PLAY ENDS