Sunday, 26 June 2022
(the beginning of another experiment)*
I was very struck yesterday after I published my last piece by how absolutely terrible I felt about it.
I thought it was “feeble” and “pathetic” and I felt ashamed to have written it.
It was only this morning that I realised these were two of the words the bullies used to describe me; that I’d internalised them, and, in writing the piece, had re-entered the abusive world I was trying to describe.
A hazard of the job, I guess.
One reason writing can be dangerous…
*NOTE: something else that occurred to me this morning is that it might be interesting to write brief morning reflections before the day begins, and note something I’ve enjoyed from the day before.
(Good plan, JC. Only I note it’s 1727….)
A song: “Meu jardim” by Vander Lee
No Jo, not feeble or pathetic. Rather, very BRAVE for sharing!!
How many of us haven’t been scarred (often for life) by painful and negative experiences? Most of us try to bury them only to find that they surface, often when we least expect them to.
When a course tutor once asked the class to share a difficult childhood experience, I became so overwhelmed by painful emotions that I wasn’t even aware I had, that I was unable to share any such experiences.
I for one feel very grateful and all the richer for you having been brave enough to share your experiences with us.